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My childhooh was nothing if not completely booring and normal. I had eaten each of my younger siblings by five and used the bones to build a scale reproduction of Munich circa 1732. Grade school was difficult, my being a prodigy and all, but I managed to entertain myself by stabbing all the boys in the eye with bencils and dangling all the pretty little girls from the industrial ceiling fans by their pastel shoelaces. My, you can loose an entire afternoon with thew fan an high and the steel support beams face-length away from the end of the blades. Guess Suzy won't be needing braces anymore.:)
After visiting several of the finer state-rin istitutions I entered the awkward high school years.You remeber what that's like. You like a girl so you kill her cat and leave it on her front stoop as a sign of affection. The next day you screw-up your courage and ask her out. And she says no and you have to live with the pain and embarassment of rejection until the final bell, when you catch her walking to her car and run over her 7 times while screaming "bitch" at the top of you lungs. You can't imagine what sort of reputation that sort of thing gets you. The video of myself and my senior prom date was reffered to as "The Hostage Tape". I think that's completly unfair. Her parents were fine in that basement. I left them a box full of Beggin Strips and they could have licked the dripping pipes for water. It's not like I actually killed thenm or anything - that night at least.
After a few more stays at Connecticut's finest there were the college years. Ah the higher learning and experimentation. I remember one night my roomates and I were particualarly stoked on mushrooms. I saw that one of my roomates was a sleek bird reslendant with shimmerring rainbow feathers. I told him his home was the cosmos and he should swoop out the window and fly away unto eternity. He lept from the sill and that was the last I saw of him, till a gardener found his body in the hedges three days later with a broken neck. As I turned to my other roomate I realized he was a werewolf. Knowing that the full moon was the next evening I stabbed him in his wolfen heart with a wooden stake and proceeded to use his excarnated skull as a bong. Skulls don't make as functional a bong as one would expect. They are not very gas-tight.
Anyway I graduated and have worked several jobs abd been linked to several dissappearances if the greater tri-state area. I'm happy for this opportunity make new friendsand and figure out some new recepies for the same-old same-old cuts of meat/ has anyone used cillantro before?

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